Tying up loose ends

WHO LIVES a perfect life? So many things left undone, so many things left unsaid. The list goes on and on.

How many regrets do I have? Where do they end? Do they just dangle there, like loose strings in the wind?

I see hurt in the other person as plain as day. If you look hard enough, you can read it in their eyes. If it hurts too much, they look away.

Or they stare right back at you, and they read the hurt in your eyes too.

Our world overflows with frustration — so much bickering, lies, and manipulation… so much anger and inconsistency — or maybe it all just makes you feel sad inside.

As for myself, am I loyal and faithful to the end? How many times have I let others down? How many times did I fail to show up or say too much?

More strings dangling in the wind, so many loose ends left unresolved.

And lest we forget, what about those deep dark places? I buried those ghosts long ago — or at least I thought I did.

I try to tell myself it’s settled. I think it’s done. But every so often they cry out from the grave, and I shudder.

A lifetime may have passed, yet those old ghosts return to haunt me once in a while.

How many times have I broken bread with the betrayer, the denier? How many times do I see hurt express itself in outrage, aggression, and perversion of unspeakable nature?

People flail around desperately seeking peace. And even those that know better fall down sometimes. Even the most steady of us wobble and weave.

Where did it all begin? Where does it all end? 

But once, there was a Man, who gathered it all unto Him.

He brought together all the loose ends. He tied it all together and brought it to him.

Not a single hurt or betrayal escaped. No negligence or absence was forgotten. Nothing said or done was lost.

He went down to those dead, dark places. He opened those dusty crypts.

No matter how deep the evil, he looked it in the eye. Fearless. Faithful. Good.

And he took it all upon himself. All sin was brought unto him and placed upon him.

He took up all those loose ends, the unanswered questions, the contradictions, the endless hurt… and it was all nailed to the cross through him, with him, and in him.

And for this sometimes confused and startled soul, this gives me closure. I can’t fully understand it with my head, but my heart knows and my spirit rejoices.

He gathered it all unto him out of perfect justice, infinite mercy, and everlasting love.

And in Him I have a shot at being better. So now, I can show up. I can be faithful. I can be steady and strong.

And when I fall down again, it won’t be for long, as I know who is fearless, faithful, and good to me.

I don’t have to worry about those loose ends anymore — since nothing, and no one, will be forgotten by the sweet mercy of God. 

. . . . . . .

When it was evening, he sat at table with the twelve disciples; and as they were eating, he said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” And they were very sorrowful, and began to say to him one after another, “Is it I, Lord?” 

Matthew 26:20-22

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