WHERE DOES our ego come from? Why do we need a sense of self-esteem or self-importance? Why is this so significant?
Maybe it’s because at one point someone told you that you don’t matter. Maybe someone said they don’t care. Or maybe they didn’t tell you, but they showed you. They forgot about you. They didn’t show up. They hurt you.
These old wounds can hurt for a long time, a lifetime even. What happens to the human heart when someone tells you that you don’t matter? What happens to you when they show you that they don’t care?
Ironically, some of us end up with an inflated ego. You build it up to hide your wounds. It’s a defense mechanism. You try to fill the void with selfish thoughts and actions.
Or maybe you do the exact opposite. You decide to buy the lie that you don’t matter. And your self-esteem shrinks to zero. Maybe if you believe you are nothing, then the hurt will go away.
But none of this stops the bleeding. None of this fills the empty void.
It’s a matter of trust, isn’t it? Since you’ve been hurt, it’s not easy to trust, even those closest to you. And those closest to you might hurt you even more.
Sometimes the best intentions make us suffer the most. They might even tell us we are awesome and better than everyone else. But the truth is we are all just human, a speck of flesh on a clot of dirt in God’s universe.
So to manage it all we seek a sense of self. We want to know we matter somehow. Deep down, we want to know our true worth.
From my wounds my ego is born. It’s sworn to protect me at all costs. We construct our ego to defend ourselves. Or we seek ways to destroy it. But my ego is not my essence.
Who can reach past the “I” that I think I am? Who can reach into that innermost place?
Only the most innocent — only the most pure — only the one I can trust with my own soul — that’s the one I can let in without fear.
It can only be the Lord Jesus Christ. And when he arrives, there are no more expectations, only joyful hope.
In his presence, your ego disappears — or at least it’s not exaggerated or cartoonish. With the Lord, your ego is not too big and not too small — instead it’s just right. It’s just you.
He frees you of any false pretenses. He rejects the lies of worthlessness.
So cry out against everything that tries to silence you. Cry out, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Let go of your ego. Focus on the essence of who you are.
You can seek self-esteem or self-importance, but it often doesn’t fit right. Or you can be filled with love. And that fits just fine.
Love fills your soul exactly to the size you need. It fills your heart so it can grow healthy and strong. God’s love lets you see Jesus. It lets you see exactly who you are — and how you can be healthy and free.
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“What do you want me to do for you?” He said, “Lord, let me receive my sight.” And Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has made you well.”
Luke 18:41-42
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