GOD SEEKS ME relentlessly. He never gives up on me. Do I know this? Or have I forgotten?
I may forget, but he never loses hope.
And still… he also sets me free. He lets me be me.
How many times though did I run away from him?
The Lord will never do me harm.
So why do I try to avoid his love so pure? Why do I try to escape from the innocence that heals my heart?
It takes tremendous effort to ignore God.
Can I resist the force of a hurricane? Will I say no to the gentle spring rain? Can I ignore the warm sun when I am dead cold and tired?
Why do I shiver in the shadows when all I need to do is step into the light?
Maybe instead I erect a massive scaffold to pretend like I don’t notice or act as if I don’t care. I build up a structure, any excuse to block out the light.
And it takes all my energy, all my force of life, to sustain what I’ve built.
Inside, I’m trapped in the darkness of my own construction. There, I’ll do anything but admit that what I need most of all is love.
But the Lord comes for me.
He is tireless, tenacious.
He is the hurricane,
the gentle spring rain,
the warmth of the sun.
He will never ever give up on me.
And even though, in an instant, he could smite down all that I’ve built, he holds back his hand.
He waits.
He waits as long as it takes.
And when I am ready, and only then, he will tell me.
And I will listen as he says:
My dear beloved child, come out.
Come out from your hiding place.
Be not afraid.
Know that I seek you always. I yearn for you at every moment.
Know that I have created the universe around my love for you.
You cannot understand it all as it involves the interwoven history of billions of souls.
So much of your struggle is an attempt to understand, to return to peace with me.
That is why I sent myself, as my Son, to you, to explain things to you clearly.
I give you everything that I have.
I give you my Body and my Blood.
I give you my innocence to return you to innocence.
All I want in return is to hold you, as my little lamb.
All I want is to forgive you.
All I want is to give you my mercy and restore you to abundant life.
All I want is to resurrect you on the final day.
All I want is to love you as that is who
I AM.
. . . . . . .
For this is the will of my Father, that every one who sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.”
John 6:40
What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
Matthew 18:12-14
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