The bittersweet tears

I WITNESS the struggle of humanity unfold out of control and inexplicable.

It hurts to see so many suffer out on the streets or alone in their homes.

Men, women, and children crammed into the belly of an aircraft. Others left behind wailing in despair.

Stories of families wounding each other relentlessly, for no good reason at all.

I just can’t stand the sight of you, they say.

So many without food or shelter while others enjoy feasts well beyond their needs.

I look at my insides and see injustice there too.

Where does it all come from? Where did all this pain begin?

Would it be better just to shut my eyes and block it all out for my own sanity?

Still, the hurt eventually arrives to my home, friends, and family.

It never fails. No one escapes for too long.

And sometimes there’s nothing you can do. Just listen maybe.

Get down on your knees and pray.

Cry out to Almighty God.

Cry out for them and for yourself. 

Still…

…that’s not all there is… not at all.

In the midst of the wailing and sorrow, miraculously there is joy.

Precious moments fall down like pearls from heaven.

The hand of God works in your life, guiding, providing, forgiving you.

Leading you into belief.

I see it in their eyes. The steadfast faith.

I see the Lord’s will unfolding everywhere, even despite the pain.

Yet I can only see it when I trust, when I believe.

For when I shut down, I focus on my shame and my pain.

And from there I lash out again. Those closest to me are within easy reach.

I hurt. I leave people behind.

And within me the knives of regret shred me to pieces. 

Still, the darkness never wins completely. 

Each moment of joy reveals the richness of God’s grace.

Springtime rain on your face.

Sunshine flooding the room.

A gentle summer breeze.

The hug you’ve waited for forever.

Rest child. Rest there in that deep profound joy.

Be born again into the love of God.

Explanations never end. Arguments rage forever.

Nothing will explain the ‘why’ of it all except His peace.

And you can only receive it when you trust. When you believe. 

And yes, you will cry tears of sorrow mixed with tears of joy.

It’s the Man on the cross saying, I forgive you always.

It’s the empty tomb telling you, He is risen and in Him life never ends.

And somehow, this is more than enough.

To face the pain and sorrow.

To embrace the joy.

To give more of yourself.

To live and love like there’s no tomorrow, knowing deep down heaven waits for you to come home. 

. . . . . . .

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. 

John 10:10

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