I DON’T know about you, but sometimes I have a really low opinion about myself. In some instances it might be deserved, and in others it’s not.
Still, a strange thing happens to me on the inside. I start to loathe myself. And it’s not just a low opinion any more, it’s more like a feeling, a deep sensation. I can actually even begin to hate myself in a way. It’s horrible.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live in a constant state of self-loathing, but it does happen. It can be quite intense. I start obsessing about the bad decisions I made, I should know better, I’m lazy, thoughtless, careless, stupid, dumb, useless, weak.
Sadly, some have even had this message drilled into their heads for years. And just like that, you’re buried under an avalanche of guilt and shame.
Recently I’ve discovered a tremendous, unexpected way out of these vicious cycles.
Now the reality is, I am a disaster sometimes. I do make mistakes, and I can be selfish and proud. I don’t always have what it takes.
So there it is. I need to get over myself and accept that I’m going to make a mess sometimes. On occasion I will even fail olympically. So get over it my sisters and brothers.
But is that all there is to it? Will this make me feel any better?
Now, suddenly, a discovery. An oasis in the barren desert.
You see, the escape from self-loathing is humility.
And that’s wonderful. It’s miraculous. I am not perfect, and I never will be. I struggle and flail about in my journey through life. Life is super tough for everyone. I’m not exempt.
It’s so liberating to be humiliated in this way, to be placed on the same level as everyone else. But instead of making you retreat into a corner, accepting your humility gives you room to breathe, to live… and to do better.
You see, hate boxes you in. And the worst part of self-loathing is that it rarely stops with you. Like a sickness, it wants to spread. So you start to resent others… just for being imperfect. Just for being human. But if instead, you embrace your humility, an amazing transformation happens.
In a humble place, Jesus comes to you. He comes down to your level. It’s so incredible that he does this. I struggle to find the words to express the overwhelming joy and relief I feel as the Son of God does this for me.
It’s like he says to me,
“Look, here I am. Place your finger in my wounded side. See the marks on my hands and feet and know I did this for you. I know you suffer. I know you struggle. I know you hate yourself sometimes for the mistakes you’ve made. But know this. I am here by your side. It is all forgiven.
Put your full trust in my mercy. Be cleansed by my blood, the blood of the New and Everlasting Covenant. It has been spilled for you and for all for the forgiveness of sins.
Rest my weary child. Rest now in my humble mercy.”
You see God makes a deal with you. This deal isn’t based on what you’ve done or failed to do. Instead, it is based on God’s eternal love for you. He extends this love to you without conditions as the conditions were all paid for in full, on the cross, by the Lord Jesus Christ.
If you choose to accept the deal, know this. It is the offer of all the love of eternity combined. It is the promise of purity and goodness that forever changes you. It penetrates the deepest core of your soul. It transforms you and gives you a strong heart.
Upon accepting the deal, you will fall down in worship, thanks, and praise since you have been redeemed. Nothing can be more humbling than receiving so much generosity for only saying yes.
Yes, Lord, I believe. I need your forgiveness. Save me, O Lord.
Then all the hate is gone, burned away by the Spirit of God. And what’s left is the reality that you are loved. And you know this as you have received it. You know this since you have been saved.
Then there’s something even more miraculous still.
God doesn’t just bring you deep healing here and now. Later, he will lift you up to him and seat you on the throne of Christ. He will lift you up to him to rest in the bosom of God.
So the next time you mess up and drown in self-loathing or guilt, just let it go. Own your part, accept your humanity. Be humble enough to ask the Lord for help. Be humbled by his immense plan of salvation.
In your humility, the Lord casts out the lies of the enemy.
In your humility, you finally walk free.
To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.
For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.Matthew 23:12
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